i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
