ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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