Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
should my penis look like a turkey
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
