my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
