i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
