so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
