Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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