Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
