She announced her abortion via fbk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize