I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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