I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
