don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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