why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
