dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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