So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
