consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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