We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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