Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
