Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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