Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
