shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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