He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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