question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
