marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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