Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
