I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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