garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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