Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
