you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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