There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
