Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
one might say we're banned from that church
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This is classic penis vs brain.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
