he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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