its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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