You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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