is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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