Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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