I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
