i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why do cheetos always look like penises
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
