But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
