you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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