I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
