her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
