Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
