sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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