Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He felt like a one man threesome
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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