i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
