Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to calm my uterus...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
