Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
