My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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