The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
