you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
